The Unbridled
by VeniaAmuletum
Summary: As Lily Evans, James Potter, and Sirius Black enter their Seventh Year, the world outside is darkening. But inside the merry walls of the castle, love is abound. Except for Lily, who is too busy rationalizing away her inexplicable hurt at James Potter's newly cold shoulder. And for Sirius, who feels himself darkening with the world, lost in intense feelings for a certain redhead...
1. Prologue

**_A/N:_** Hello, everyone. Let me first do a quick disclaimer: ALL characters in this story, as well as most places, objects -the whole wonderful world- belongs to J.K. Rowling. I am merely exploring it;)

To introduce this story, all I can say is that it is the Lily & James story that has been floating around in my head since I was twelve years old. Except. Years later now, just as I was beginning to write it, I was struck by a sudden interesting twist. Sirius Black has always been my favorite character of the prequel gang, and I couldn't resist shifting the normal parameters of Lily and James stories here. It is not an A/U story because I am not going to change any of the 'facts' from the Harry Potter series- I am merely writing the story of his parents, keeping in mind that love is messy, and there are certain ordeals that once they are finally worked through- you just don't trouble kids with until they're old enough to understand.

This will be quite long... I was initially planning to span the gang's last year of Hogwarts all the way through the fateful Halloween night in Godric's Hollow, but after I started I quickly realized that the last year of Hogwarts alone is going to be enough for a novel-lenth fic!

So I hope you bear with the first couple of chapters, which are a little heavy on the backstory and character development, and _enjoy._

- V

**The Unbridled**

**Prologue**

"There are as many forms of love as there are moments in time."

- Jane Austen

_The selfish heart is a twisted cloth, and its black and white beats will pump stale and bitter blood._

_The true heart however, knows no boundaries. And if left alone, to be open and broken, healed and swollen- again and again in a cycle as necessary and beautiful as the living breath- it can know love over and over, in a hundred different colors; each as lovely as the one before it, and the one that will come next._

_It is we who choose how selfishly to put forth our hearts, and in doing so we make a choice that can forever decide the shade of our lives. _

_Did they love in color? Is the question that matters- when a life is cut short._

* * *

One day he would look back on this time in his life with wizened fondness.

Sirius had taken to telling himself this at steady intervals throughout the day- every time he felt that suffocating panic tightening down inside his chest.

He would imagine himself, old and withered, covered in age spots (while still retaining an impossible je ne sais quoi) and laughing uproariously at the tribulations of his youth.

He would be just like the old Italian men he remembered from the _one_ (disastrous) family holiday the Blacks had taken together. The city had been so-so, his family had achieved the impossible and had been a hundred times more nightmarish than they were within the confines of Grimmauld Place, and the weather had been uncharacteristically gloomy. But Sirius had loved spending mornings by the seaside with those old Italian men; listening to them recollect in broken and humorous English, the tales of Romances Passed.

He imagined himself in an ancient rocking chair, with an audience of whipper-snapping-youths, regaling with great affection the story of those _few short months_ when he was practically still a kid, when all he could think about day and night was the _love _of his best friend's life.

It would be a silly and lively tale, he told himself, with a slapstick ending of Shakespearian proportions, that the ancient Mr. Black would remember as a wee misstep onto the peel of a banana- in a life otherwise full of enlightened decisions.

He tried to imagine how it would feel; to be on the other side of this mountain, looking back on his own foolishness. Perhaps if he could just experience the feeling once in his head, he could _grab_ hold of it- _force_ it into pre-mature existence.

As the mountain herself was sitting beside him, however, this proved to be impossible.

She was telling a story of her own to the other Gryffindors at the breakfast table, and her voice and her very proximity made him feel disoriented and full of a dangerous electric charge. On her other side, James was chiming in, and everyone else was laughing appreciatively.

She nudged Sirius in the ribs, prompting him to add to the tale, and inadvertently sending an aching jolt down his spine; clouding his mind with the urge to grab her.

The automated part of his brain managed to pick up on which story they were telling, The Incident of the Megaphone Mistletoe at Slughorn's Christmas Party, and he dragged himself into action.

Squaring his shoulders, he bolstered his energy and forced himself to recount the end with a booming laugh.

_Yes_, repeated that small optimistic part of him that grew more and more doubtful all the time,

_One day._


	2. Chapter 1: The Sleeping Dog

**A/N: **Thanks so much for following/reviewing, guys! I'm so sorry about the taking down/editing of chapters, I'M DONE NOW, I promise! Just being ridiculous and a perfectionist.

* * *

**Chapter One: The Sleeping Dog**

Would it be possible_ to train the Giant Squid to cart students across the Black Lake?_

Sirius' heart lurched excitedly at the thought, and he felt a sudden broiling impatience to drop by Hagrid's hut and ask.

James, however, was thoroughly distracted...and as Sirius was partially (mostly) responsible for that, he resisted the urge to leave the cluster of students at the lake and wander over to where he could see the young gamekeeper poking around in his pumpkin patch.

On the ground in front of them, _Snivellus_ was struggling clumsily, attempting to get to his feet with at least _some_ of his dignity in tact.

'You - wait,' he panted, staring up at James with an expression of purest loathing, 'you - wait!'

Pathetic as he looked, Snape's voice was raw with conviction, and the Black in Sirius fired up at once at the implied threat against his best friend; all thoughts of pranks left to lie at the bottom of the Lake.

'Wait for what?' he said cooly to Snape, pulling his attention back to the activity at hand, and drawing himself up so there would be _no_ question as to who was dominating this encounter, 'What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?'

Snape let out an almost comically deranged scream, and the air was filled with verbal curses and hexes. Sirius looked down at his feet to see Snape's wand lying uselessly in the grass, and smirked.

'Wash out your mouth,' said James beside him. 'Scourgify!'

Bubbles gushed from Snape's mouth and he sputtered and gagged frantically. Sirius let himself bask in twisted satisfaction at the sight, but after a few moments, he began to feel uncomfortable. Cruel laughter was ringing in the air, and Snape appeared to actually be choking. An annoying voice in his head reminded him he had vowed to himself that he would lay off Snape a bit, after… everything.

'Leave him ALONE!'

Sirius and James turned as one to see a mass of red thundering towards them.

'All right, Evans?' said James, suddenly sounding ten years older. Sirius snorted. He quickly masked it by rubbing his chin innocently, and braced himself for Lily's imminent wrath.

'Leave him alone,' She repeated firmly. 'What's he done to you?'

She was looking at James with an expression of weary disgust, and the energy around her seemed to still. The crowd, happy to laugh at Snape's expense a moment before, seemed suddenly abashed.

'Well,' said James, mock-thoughtfully, 'it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean...'

Most of James' admirers around the circle tittered and chuckled at this. But Lily and her cold expression were unruffled.

'You think you're funny,' she said quietly. 'But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.'

James launched into his usual show of flirtations for her affections, and Sirius watched her react, only half listening. She was damn stubborn, this one. How many years had James tried to win her over for, now? And how many times had she defended Snape from their pranks and fights? Come to think of it, she was the only person who had _ever_ really stood up to them at all. Sirius found himself smiling slightly as her hot temper exploded, as it usually did, and she let James have it with the force of a typhoon.

He sobered up immediately, for James' sake, and brushed the incident off, hoping to inspire his slightly crestfallen friend to do the same.

It half-worked anyway, because a moment later, James had turned on Snape once again,

'_Right._ Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?'

Snape was sweaty with furious mortification, and as Sirius looked at him, he found that everything had changed suddenly; the sky was dark, and the crowd of students had vanished. He, Snape and James stood alone in the cold, moonlit grounds, next to the Whomping Willow, all of them out of breath and shaken. Sirius could hear James shouting at him distantly, but his blood was pounding a deafening roar in his ears as he looked into the greasy, contorted face in front of him. Besides, what James had to say was not nearly as important as the task at hand. Snape's face was a puzzle he had to solve somehow... there was something in it of great importance.

'Sirius what the _bloody fucking hell_ were you thinking?!'

He was thinking... that it was something in the eyes. Yes that was it- he recognized that look. He had seen it before... Where though? His usually (very) sharp mental function was currently working like honey being poured through a funnel. Disturbing pictures and feelings entered the dark grounds.

Grimmauld Place. He had seen Snape's look at Grimmauld Place in the big, hateful, antique mirror in his bedroom. It had looked back at him every summer for the last four years.

'Sirius he could have _died_. What were you playing at?' James' face was angry... and scared. He had the wary eyes of someone who was realizing that maybe they didn't know someone so well after all.

_Killing that look on Snape's face for good._ But before he could try and explain any of this to James, everything had changed again, and he was sitting alone in front of the common room fire. Blessedly warm, and blessedly alone.

The cushy couch sagged slightly as someone sat down next to him. Sirius looked up to see firelight dancing bloody _brilliantly_ in a mane of auburn hair, and shining playfully out of bright green eyes. He smiled drunkenly, though he could not remember drinking anything. Without speaking, she reached up and lay a warm, sweet hand on his chest over his heart. A feeling so indescribable and so powerful that his mind simply-_stopped_, spread through his entire body until he felt like his heart would surely explode. His eyes slid closed and he smiled, murmuring wordlessly.

And then there was a soft knock on the door. The moment shattered, and without knowing why, he felt a guilt and an anxiety so powerful that he felt like he had been knocked over- careening into cold, black space. _James_.

* * *

"Boys? _Honestly_, it's quarter to eleven. There's tea on the table for you."

Sirius woke up with a start. His heart was pounding, but he felt a flood of relief at being brought back to warm, summery, real life. He forced himself to breathe slowly and deeply as Mrs. Potter's footsteps disappeared down the hall. His own solid weight in the featherbed mattress on the floor of James' room was extraordinarily comforting after the disjointed chaos of his dreams.

He blinked and let his eyes rest on the window, where golden sunlight was pouring into the room through thin Griffindor-red curtains. His dreams had not quite left him yet, and he shook himself mentally, trying to clear his hazy mind of the confused mass of feelings and images that lingered there.

He had always been a vivid dreamer, which often meant re-living the most intense moments of his life over and over again in the dreamworld. And, he brought a hand to his chest over his heart- still feeling the traces of that indescribable feeling deep inside his gut, it also meant experiencing _completely insane_ and fantastical things as if they were real life.

_Oh, God._ He let out a shaky breath through his nose as the full sensory picture of the final part of the dream swept over him again. It was such an entirely warm, sweet, and thrilling picture that he felt a hollow dullness in his chest when he finally summoned his usual bravado, and forced it from his mind. He exhaled again. He was beginning to feel anxiety about all of this.

He could feel the comforting presence of James, lying not three feet away, and guilt began to gnaw at him.

He lay stone still and powerless as memories of dream, after dream, after _dream_ from this month _alone_ washed over him. His heart rate doubled, and he gripped the light summer blanket tightly in shock, overwhelmed by a rush of lust and passion so intense, it made him dizzy. Swallowing hard, he willed his body to calm down, and his mind to tear itself away from the impossibly alluring recollections.

A year of this. It had been a _year_. Longer, actually, if he was being fair. That first damned dream had come about a year ago, but he had pinpointed the very day that Lily Evans elbowed her unwelcome way into his subconscious to the day of their Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. nearly a _year and a half_ ago. Images from that cursed afternoon flashed through his mind, and he wondered briefly if this was his penance for tormenting Snape one time too many. He wasn't sure which had been his downfall; those few short seconds where he had really _noticed_ Lily Evans, or three months later when that first dream had taken hold of him. Either way, he rued both.

Glowering, he ripped his blankets off. Thoughts of Snape, the human cold shower, had at least insured that he would not be having any indecent thoughts for hours to come.

James was stretching with what Sirius felt was a very dramatic yawn, and the motion dragged his mind out of the past year and back into James' sunlit room. _Just leave it Padfoot,_ he told himself, trying to stand in for James as role of his own optimistic confidant, _you haven't done anything wrong, mate. At least not in the areas that you have any control over._ He let it go, to a degree, and propped himself up on his elbows to greet James once the latter had slid his glasses on,

"_AH,"_ exclaimed James as flamboyantly as one can with a groggy morning voice, blinking like a madman through his spectacles "_there_ you are, Padfoot, old boy! A very splendid morning to you- I trust you had good dreams? I thought I heard you muttering a while ago," he waggled devilish eyebrows at Sirius, "paying _Rachel Bones_ a visit perhaps...?"

Sirius grinned, "McGonagall actually. I fear I have outgrown all the _girls_ at Hogwarts, Prongs, dear boy."

James grinned too, looking thoughtful, "She _would_ look _so_ fetching in a Black marital portrait."

Sirius snorted, imagining Minerva McGonagall posing for a traditional Black family marital portrait, in which the bride (in what Sirius had always tried to point out was a disgusting display of male _ownership_) wore a corset and petticoat, and either stood obediently at the groom's side or (as in his parent's case) sat lavishly across his lap. How that demonstrated strength and loyalty, he would never know. He chuckled darkly, and pulled himself out of bed,

"Right. I need that tea now."

* * *

Mrs. Potter was as good to them as ever, and Sirius' heart leapt at the sight of the two steaming red mugs sitting on the table in what he considered to be a downright beautiful way. He let out a moan of longing as he beelined for his cup, and heard James chuckle behind him,

"I think you may have a _bit_ of an unhealthy addiction there, mate."

Sirius let his eyes slide closed in euphoria as he took his first sip, then fixed James with a stern raised eyebrow,

"Nonsense."

Mrs. Potter's tea was one of about four hundred reasons that Sirius considered the Potter residence to be heaven on earth. Strong, sweet, and milky, it had a nutty flavor that made him think of Christmas at Hogwarts, and was charmed to always be the perfect hot temperature. He could feel it instantly waking up his groggy body and mind, and smiled happily into the depths of the red porcelain mug. He surfaced to see James looking at him with pointed amusement,

"_What_! Your mum's tea is Merlins gift to the Wizarding World and you know it," Sirius leaned in conspiratorially, "I think she puts Cheering Charms in here."

James snorted and Sirius gave a triumphant cry,

"You feel it too Prongs?- _There_ she _is_! The _Sorceress_ among mere Witches-"

Mrs. Potter chuckled, entering the house through the vanishing backdoor in the kitchen. Her arms were piled high with fresh fruits, vegetables, and various magical plants that mingled to produce a most intriguing mixture of smells, colors, and audible sounds.

"Good morning, Sirius," She smiled warmly at Sirius and then at James, "Good morning James, dear."

"Morning, Mum."

"How are you boys feeling this morning?" Mrs. Potter asked conversationally as she dumped her entire haul into the kitchen sink, where the faucet and scrubber sprang into action at once, removing the rich earth from the freshly picked food. James nodded contentedly at her behind his mug, and Sirius said matter-of-factly,

"Much better now that I've had some of your tea, thank you kindly."

Mrs. Potter rested her hands on the counter and looked fondly at them,

"Mmm? Did you have trouble sleeping, Sirius?"

Her eyes traveled over his face in a motherly way and he felt his heart glow. Because of his most unfortunate tendency to mutter and thrash and _sometimes_ even sleepwalk during his dreams, all of the Potters were well aware of the occasional intensity of his nights-although they never pressed him as to what his dreams were about. Which he appreciated very much. But this morning he was trying to push all thoughts of his dreamtime indiscretions from his mind, so he just shook his head and shrugged, returning her warm look.

"Nah... just felt like I needed a bit of extra energy this morning," he looked around the kitchen eagerly, excited by the imminent prospect of eating.

"_Did_ you now?" James was watching him practically bounce around in his chair trying to check on the progress of the vegetables in the sink. Sirius looked down to see his fingers drumming on the dark wood surface of the table, and stopped them abruptly, shrugging nonchalantly at James. Mrs. Potter chuckled again.

"Oh… I _will_ miss you boys when you go off to school again. Believe it or not."

She smiled impishly and came around the counter to stand behind James, tousling his hair and planting a kiss on the top of his head- which he tolerated, Sirius knew, _solely_ because they were in the safety and privacy of home. Then she sang the most _beautiful _music to Sirius' ears-

"-I was thinking of making brunch so that we could all eat together this morning. I've only had tea, and your father was out the door at six so I'm sure he'll be hungry again when he gets back..."

Her eyes flickered momentarily across the old fashioned front door as she walked back to the sink to sort through her now spotless harvest. James lowered his cup,

"Where is Dad? It's Saturday..."

"Oh, he had to meet with someone from the Prophet. He should be back any minute," Mrs. Potter had her back to them but Sirius could tell from the forced casualness in her voice that she was hiding something from them in her usual sheltering way.

He glanced at James, who was already looking at him with raised eyebrows. That was the thing Sirius loved most about James. They were neck in neck when it came to intelligence in and out of school, which meant (almost) never having to explain anything to each other. The same usually went for Remus too- and Peter... well, you couldn't expect four out of four.

They reached an unspoken agreement to let the matter lie until Mr. Potter arrived home, and Sirius let his mind be distracted by his cozy surroundings. The house was built from rich cuttings of wood, and decorated mostly in red- with splashes of other bright colors poking out here and used for trimming there. There were windows on every wall, so the house was filled throughout the day with varying shades of golden light, and the wireless radio in the living room was on from the time that the first occupant awoke, until the last went to bed. The music mixed with the sunlight accounted for reasons number 2 and 3 that this house was heaven on earth for Sirius.

Mrs. Potter herself was cause for reasons 50-100, he thought as he watched her merrily fixing brunch for them all. Her and James' father were quite old; their age would actually be more suited for grandparenthood, but they were some of the most _alive_ and young-spirited people Sirius knew.

James had been an entirely unexpected surprise at their age, and he had been loved damn well for it. Sirius had always marveled at how..._grateful_ the Potters always seemed towards James, just for being in their lives. And that they took _him_- the runaway from the notorious house of Black- in with that same warmth and gracious love...it left him in total awe. He was thankful beyond words, and he felt a stab of sadness at the thought of leaving the Potters and their house in two short days.

Abandoning him, his mind began to wander back to the night that he had left Grimmauld Place for the Potters' - the night of the first dream.

He remembered it with guilty clarity; he had finally fallen asleep after hours and hours of storming and panicking and lying despondent in his 'childhood' bedroom, feeling like a caged dragon. He was reeling from a family row that he would remember as one of the worst, and at first the dream had been, to his intense irritation, an exact replay of the scene.

He had been sitting at the long foreboding dinner table with them, eating as fast as he could so he could escape to the relative peace of his room. His mother had been fixing him with an unblinking look of smug, narrow eyed disgust. She was goading him, waiting for him to snap at her so that she could tell him exactly what she thought of him. Knowing full well what she was doing, he rolled his eyes and tried to just ignore her, but to his fury he could feel the Black rage building inside of him with every second that her eyes were on him, and he had indeed snapped.

It was like a bomb had gone off in the frigid dining room, as all four Blacks leapt at the opportunity for the conflict they so craved. His mother was shouting hateful, horrible things at him, and he met her head on with relish. That was one thing that he had on all of them, he thought later with hardly any pleasure; he was by far the smartest. His quick wit angered his mother in particular, who was more in favor of shouting _louder_ and cursing _more_, rather than saying anything of value. But when she reached a certain hysteria limit, his father would always step in with threats and scare tactics, which spoiled the fun rather quickly.

Sirius was probably also the most stubborn of his family, and would never back down- _never_ let himself feel particularly hurt or defeated about any of it, but that night he had suddenly stopped. His father's wand was trained on him, and threats of the cruciatus curse were being flung around, and just when Sirius was about to scoff and tell him to do it, he just... stopped.

He could feel the blood rushing through his head, could feel _everything _with such clarity-it was almost as though he had suddenly become Padfoot. Looking around the room and feeling the immense tension in his body, he was suddenly, and for the first time in sixteen years mind you, overwhelmed by having to _defend_ himself.

He was a Black, and the huge boundless dog that represented him in animal form was spot on; he could _defend_ himself to the _death_. Quite naturally and happily too. But it suddenly hit him that here, in his 'home', the place he had grown up- he shouldn't have to anymore.

He took in his mother, wild eyed and still screaming her disappointment, and his father, who had joined in with the barking voice that made Sirius flinch inwardly with every cracking syllable. And Regulus, who was always pretty quiet during the fights, but who showed a poorly masked pleasure at being the one who did everything _right_ in comparison to Sirius. He suddenly wished with a gut-wrenching ache that someone would help him defend himself and what he thought was right and honorable in this house.

And in reality he had simply turned and left the fight for the first time ever.

But in the dream that came hours later, he stood in the cold stone dining room, head ringing with angry voices, _aching_ for somebody to help him fight because he was bloody _exhausted_- and Lily Evans was suddenly there. At first it was sheerly ridiculous, and he had watched in confused amusement as bright, bold, hot headed Lily Evans had stormed around the dark room, going head to head with his mother who could only scream over and over that she was a mudblood and she had to get out _now_. Lily had eventually just laughed good natured-ly, and said,

"Do you know? _Nothing_ would make me happier than to get out of here _now_. Come on, Sirius," and she had taken his hand, led him out the front door, and into the balmy summer night. She looked back at the shadowy front door of No.13 and shivered, pulling a comically frightened face,

"Bloody hell, man."

She was several inches shorter than him, so when she looked into his face, she was looking up. Her eyes were alight with a playful magic, and Sirius felt giddy like they had just escaped from a pack of Chimaeras. He supposed in a sense, they had.

He had felt a little awkward to be in this situation with Lily Evans, with whom he had never had any kind of real conversation, beyond the teasing and flirting that he and James tried to annoy her with. But he was filled with so much relief and happiness that she had come to his aid, that he let the awkwardness lie, and looked into her face unguardedly.

She held his gaze in a searching way, and he noticed that she had extraordinarily expressive eyes. He could see her thoughts and feelings change clearly from playful, to ponderous, to warmly concerned. He also noticed with some surprise that his stomach swooped and flurried in synch with her changing expressions. She smiled but there was still concern in her eyes,

"Are you okay, Sirius?"

He nodded with a grunt. Her smile widened,

"Just don't go back," she said easily with a little shrug. Simple.

And he had woken up. And the next day he had packed up and left for James' house for good.

He smiled as he remembered the few days after that night. They had been _pure_ blissful freedom. He had been _soaring_- he had taken matters into his own hands and had changed his own life forever. _He never had to go back_. And deep down, an extremely foolish and secret part of him had felt grateful to Lily Evans for helping him.

Of course, the rational part of him knew and liked to remind himself often that the Lily in his dream was obviously his _own_ mind, and no one but himself deserved the credit for giving him the courage to leave. That same rational part had also quickly dismissed the giddy swooping feeling he had felt when he looked at her; after all, he had had much more romantic dreams about many more girls, where they did a whole lot more than just _look_ at each other. But it had marked the start of some strange change in him.

When term started for their 6th year at Hogwarts, he found that he didn't have quite the hold on himself that he thought he did. He was quite as free and roguish with girls as he always had been- the story of his escape from his parent's house had made its way around the entire school after a week, embellished with the usual hype of tragedy and danger that had not actually been present. But it added a new facet to the already highly desired persona of 'Sirius Black- Heartbreaker', and he found it nearly doubled the amount of looks, smiles, and coy arm squeezes he received from the female population of Hogwarts.

He had basked in it of course- he was not a _nun_, as he told a disapproving Remus, but he had not been blind to the shift in his enjoyment...

Jaw set, Sirius caught up with his reeling mind, and firmly halted his thoughts there. A second later, a blissful distraction arrived, as the front door opened and Mr. Potter walked in, looking preoccupied. He was wearing an old muggle suit and a fedora, which he took off with care and placed on a hook over the shelf where they all put their trainers and summer sandals. When he turned towards the kitchen, he realized they were all watching him, and tried to look more cheerful. As he was usually a very _naturally_ cheerful man, this made Sirius instantly wary, and he braced himself for bad news.

"What is it, dad?" James asked, looking just as tense as Sirius felt. Mr. Potter sat unsteadily down next to James and sighed, pulling a newspaper out of his suit pocket.

"It's... well. There were some attacks very late last night," he spoke slowly and gently, and Sirius could tell he was choosing his words with care, "on three prominent wizards. Barry Higgins, Julius Sinclair, and Ralph Burns, I'm not sure if you boys know who they are... but last night at three in the morning, they were all killed in... various ways. Dramatic ways, to make a point, you see. They were all in separate locations, but coordinated to happen at the same time." One of his aged hands moved like a conductor's, directing a single striking beat.

His voice died away, and Sirius' imagination began to fill in the dark parts of the picture that had been left out. He said, "Why?" at the same moment as James said, "Who did it?" Mr. Potter looked at them with tired eyes, but one corner of his mouth pulled up at their identical demeanors of rapt attention.

"Well they were all strong figures for the support of Muggle-Wizard relations," He continued slowly and patiently, "all very fine men. Very fine. Barry Higgins worked in the Improper Use of Magic Office, and has been slowly and tirelessly restructuring the Department to be more understanding of Muggle rights for years and years. Sinclair was a writer for the Prophet who had a sweet weekly column about funny or touching experiences with Muggles... trying to get people to be less afraid of Wizard-Muggle interaction, you know. And Burns was a muggleborn diplomatic representative for England's Wizard-Muggle Relations Department. You can see what kind of a message this sends to the world."

Sirius could. He felt a cold sense of foreboding creeping into his abdomen.

"Between us, Bruno at the Prophet told me that the Dark Mark was sent up above each site. They aren't sure if they're going to release that to the public. Not that it matters-anyone could see that this stems from Voldemort and his followers." Mr. Potter shook his head sadly.

Sirius took in Mr. Potter's genuine heartache and imagined, with a wave of disgust, that across the city of London in Grimmauld Place, _his_ family was almost surely laughing and commending the statement that these attacks had made.

"I fear that this marks a turning point in this... _struggle_ with Voldemort," Mr. Potter said suddenly, with a candor that surprised Sirius. He was so used to the Potters protectively downplaying the struggles of the Wizarding World that he and James could so clearly see for themselves, "To pull off an attack like this, to succeed in making a statement so bold... He must be gaining followers by the day."

"_Harry_, don't be so disheartened," Mrs. Potter had come to stand behind her husband, looking resolute. She smoothed the shoulders of his jacket, "it is truly a terrible thing, but it will bring out just as fierce of a fight in our side. No one will sit down and let things like this continue to happen."

"You're right Abby," he sighed and took her hand, "I'm sorry boys, I don't mean to put a damper on your last few days of summer," he smiled weakly at them and the energy in the room shifted as Mrs. Potter summoned a platter of fruit to the table, and shot an igniting spell at the burners underneath the kettle, and underneath a huge iron frying pan filled with bacon and eggs.

Slowly, they managed to shake off the sense of darkening in the outside world, safe in the little haven of the Potter's house, and had an enjoyable brunch that left them full to the brim of food, conversation, and jest.

* * *

Hours later, Sirius could still feel Mr. Potter's words nagging at the corners of his mind.

He and James were walking side by side down the Main Street of the Wizarding part of Wimborne. The air was warm, and full of the stillness of afternoon giving way to evening. The sun was soft on their backs, and the famous magical crickets of Wimbourne were starting to chirp their song that would soon be an actual symphony. He recognized the first few notes of 'The Fairy and The Lion' from an opera based on Godric Gryffindor that was both the most ridiculous load of dung he had ever heard… and was also Mrs. Potter's favorite.

Which meant he and James inadvertently knew most of the words.

A smile quirked on his lips as he remembered the live show she had dragged the three men of the Potter household to, earlier in the summer. The air was much too still.

"BUT WOULD A WITCH," he burst forth, making James start a little, "SUCH AS THIS, put her charm upon my heart?"

He swept past James to walk ahead of him, serenading the street at large.

"Would she spurn me, curse to burn, if I offered her my arm?" A couple of young girls that Sirius vaguely recognized as Hogwarts students exchanged a wide eyed look as they saw him. He grinned at them and bowed, throwing out a theatrical arm. They exploded into giggles and whispered frantically at each other.

"Would she TAME this wild lion's heart, brush her wings across my CHEEK?" He belted, spinning grandly to face James for the verse's climax. James wore an expression of great amusement, with only the faintest trace of disbelief.

"Would she DARE ME, bear me STRENGTH! If one day I GROW WEAAAAAAK?" Exactly on cue, the crickets' song swelled in the sweet air where he left off, and everyone within earshot of Sirius laughed appreciatively. He bowed as pompously as he could as a smattering of applause rippled through the street.

"Bit young, aren't they?" James asked dubiously as Sirius nodded at the Hogwarts girls, causing his hair to tumble into his eyes. He grinned at them, brushing it back with a careless hand, and they scurried down the street flushed with delight.

"Mmm... they're all young next to my Minerva, Prongs," he said distractedly, watching them go with a smile.

"Urghh, _don't_."

"What?"

"Don't call her _my Minerva_. That was disgusting. Can't we draw some small line when it comes to Mcgonagle? You know I'm a visual thinker."

Sirius smiled, "Fine."

James was looking thoughtful, "Girls really do go mad for that sort of rubbish, don't they? Operas and that?"

Sirius made a disinterested noise of half-agreement. James was silent for a moment, and Sirius could hear his next question before it came,

"Do you think Lily Evans knows 'The Fairy and The Lion'?"

"Dunno," he shrugged, noting that he was having to _try_ to sound disinterested, "probably not if she's Muggleborn."

James nodded vaguely and after a few seconds said,

"I think she might come around this year." Sirius rolled his eyes inwardly, feeling much more annoyed than he should, "I don't... I don't mean to be conceited," James said carefully, and in fact, his voice was lacking the bolstered confidence it usually gained when talking about Lily Evans. "I just... If I just relax about it and let her... I just… know she will." He finished abruptly, the tiniest trace of red in his face.

Sirius let his love for James wrestle with his... _whatever_ it was, for a beat, and then said quietly and sincerely,

"I know she will too, mate."

A silence fell between them for several minutes, and he knew without asking that James' thoughts, like his own, had strayed from Lily Evans and were now caught up in Mr. Potter's worry.

They had overheard a few snippets of conversation here and there in town, about the men who had been killed. Mostly, the conversations seemed to be about the men themselves and what an outrage it was that they had been _murdered_ to send a message to the Wizarding World.

But no one seemed to be talking about _who_ had done it. Or how it had been done so efficiently and poignantly. Where the lack of worry in the Wizards around him had once put Sirius' mind at ease, it was now making him feel very _un_easy.

He felt more and more as though Voldemort was _creeping_ up on them all. The Wizarding World was still bright and full of happiness, save for an incident every couple of months that would remind them of the darkness lurking on their world's underbelly. The pesky cobwebs of Voldemort and his followers. But the general feeling in the greater population of Witches and Wizards was that they were just that: a _pesky_, though obviously dangerous, gang of rebels that would eventually be caught by the authorities and stamped out.

But Sirius was starting to feel that underestimation might be exactly what Voldemort was hoping for. He knew enough about the dark wizard from Regulus' impassioned rants, the wide eyed attempts to persuade Sirius to join him at a meeting, to know that Voldemort was incredibly clever. His brother was young and shockingly naive, but Sirius could sense the power and intelligence that the man Voldemort must have to be able to wrap wizards around his fingers so completely. And he felt in his gut that Voldemort was spinning a bigger, much more elaborate web around all of them than anyone realized.

"It feels like everything is about to change, doesn't it?" James spoke suddenly, sounding distant. Sirius looked at him.

He was watching a group of fellow Hogwarts students playing Quidditch in the park in the middle of town. Their carefree shouts of glee were sailing over to the street where he and James stood. Sirius nodded, and James looked back at him. As always, Sirius could see his own thoughts from the past few minutes clouding James' face.

Sirius took in the worry and unease in his best friend's eyes. He took a breath and smiled heartily,

"Yeah... It does. But not quite yet."

And with a playful shove, he shepherded James towards the park, where they were greeted with shouts of friendly recognition, and offered broomsticks and places in the game. And as they took off into the air side by side, Sirius felt that they could indeed outfly it all for a little longer- remain young for a little while more.

The time to worry was not now.


	3. Chapter 2 The Spark

**A/N:** Thank you so much for your kind reviews, you guys! Feel free too leave any suggestions, questions, or constructive criticism as well. :)

**Chapter Two: The Spark**

When Lily Evans awoke, it was to the first tendrils of sunlight spilling in through her open window. She opened her eyes from what felt like a completely dreamless sleep, feeling amazingly well rested. She looked at the clock on her bedside table. 8:07. _Wonderful_.

Stretching happily, she burrowed into the the cozy nest of blankets surrounding her, and let out a contented sigh. The air was crisp and cool, but it was also holding the promise of what she knew would be another beautiful sun-filled day in Hampshire. Nuzzling father into her pillow, she allowed her senses to run wild before her mind fully woke up.

In the morning glow, her room was a blur of pink and yellow, of soft fabrics and floral patterns. Muggle christmas lights twinkled gently from behind a pretty, sheer cloth she had hung on her wall, where she had forgotten to unplug them before falling asleep. On the opposite wall, Twiggy was staring at her precociously from the massive poster Lily had tacked up when she was twelve. She smiled nostalgically.

A light breeze drifted in through the window right next to her bed, bringing in her very favorite scent in the world, of freshly mown grass. Come to think of it, that was probably why she had woken up so early, she noted, as the buzz of Mr. Next Door's lawn mower started up again. She was too pleased at being up early for her last day (her _last day!_) at home to be annoyed, and turned her head again to look at her room fondly.

The first ray of light to creep into her room was illuminating her Muggle record collection in what she chose to take as a _hinting_ way, and she slid out of bed, savoring the feel of her soft flannel sheets. The ones her mum had picked out with such care while she was away at her first year at Hogwarts. Feeling nostalgia swelling to an almost ridiculous point in her heart, she eased her very favorite record from its cover, and set the needle in place.

The first chords of the Rolling Stone's 'Wild Horses' started as she flit around her room, gathering clothes for the day. She hummed along, feeling her heart swell with love for her sweet muggle world. Here and there in her room were obvious signs of Witchcraft... the giant owl cage for one, the desk filled with bottles of beetles and dried dragon scales for another. But overall, the world that Lily cherished so dearly during her summers, was dominantly Muggle. She felt a pang at leaving not only her beloved family, but the whole world of things that she had grown up loving, tomorrow.

However, when she thought of where she would be for the next nine months, her heart raced with excitement and a grin spread across her face. While Hogwarts could not be any more _different_ from her home, it could also not be any more _exciting, _amazing, and altogether spectacular.

Snatching a clean T-shirt from her dresser, she padded to the bathroom to freshen up. After washing and dressing, she bounced downstairs, where she could her her parents' voices.

"Good Morning," she beamed as she entered the room. Her parents greeted her happily, although her mother seemed to share her slightly heavy heart as she kissed Lily's cheek and touched her face lightly. She took the cup of tea her father offered, and grabbed a couple pieces of fruit from an abundant basket on the countertop.

"Lil, will you explain to us again about the Magical Reversal Squad?" Her father asked her immediately, glancing with twinkling eyes at her mother. Her mother rolled her own eyes and swatted his shoulder, laughing.

"What?" Lily asked, amused, "Why?"

"Because your _father_," her mother shot a look of exasperation at him, "is thinking up conspiracy theories again." Lily giggled as her father cried out indignantly.

"It really does fit this time Flora! It does! Lily, listen," and with much zest, he told her a hilariously strange story of a work colleague who had woken up suddenly at his home, with no recollection of the two days passed, clutching a fistfull of of purple feathers, and wearing nothing but a costume cape.

"Actually dad, _this_ one is at least plausible," Lily told her father to an exceptional show of triumph, after their laughter at the tale had died down.

"-_What_ is the racket in here? _Honestly_," a scowling Petunia walked into the kitchen in her bathrobe, "It's the bloody morning, it'd be nice to wake up to a peaceful, normal house for once." Lily and her father exchanged a '_caught in the act'_ expression, and both looked away grinning.

"Oh, Pet," her father said jovially, grabbing Petunia to squeeze her shoulders, "being normal is not all it's chalked up to be, I promise."

Petunia rolled her eyes in response, and took her cup of tea to the table, where she picked up a fashion magazine and began flipping the pages idly.

"Why can't _my_ hair look like that?" Petunia rubbed the thin strands of her own mousy hair between her fingers, with a wistful look at the bodacious blonde smiling up at them from the folds of the magazine.

"_Well_…" Lily said conspiratorially, dropping her voice a little so their parents wouldn't hear, "if you told Mum and Dad you went to the Salon, I could fix it to look just like _any_ of these girls… A girl in my year showed me how to to a mimicking charm on-"

"-I will never be caught dead using any of your _rubbish tricks._ I don't want my scalp melted off, thanks."

"It won't!" Lily cried indignantly, "Really, Tunie, it's perfectly safe, I know exactly what to do! It works amazingly-"

Petunia snorted.

"_Clearly_."

Lily felt her temper flare, not caring how silly the subject of their squabble was.

"Well I don't use it on myself, I like my hair the way it is! For Christ's sake, Tunie, why do you always have to be so-"

"-_Girls_," their mother cut in, pausing in the teasing of their father, "this is the last time you will spend together for months. Try and appreciate each other, please." Her last word was an actual plea, and Lily and Petunia glared at each other for just one more moment before Petunia shrugged and turned back to her magazine. Lily slumped back into her chair, breathing frustratedly into her cup before she could calm down. Breaking the tension, their mother offered to make their favorite pancake breakfast, but Petunia shook her head,

"No thanks. Vernon's taking me to Surrey later, I can't be bloating all over the vineyards." Lily frowned. She wished Petunia would stop seeing that prat. Before she could stop herself that thought tumbled from her mouth... in so many words.

"Why do you want to go to Surrey? It's all... Country Clubs and creepy neighborhoods that are all the same. Surely Vernon could take you to do something more interesting?" Well... it came out polite _enough_, she thought, trying hastily to give her sister an innocent smile. She received a glare in return,

"Shut up- Just because nobody can be more _interesting_ than you," Petunia waggled her fingers with a wide eyed face that was clearly supposed to indicate insanity. "You have your world and I have mine."

Lily felt a strange pang at that, realizing perhaps, how sadly true that was. They had grown miles apart since the days when they were inseparable playmates. It didn't seem like it could possibly have been _years_ since they had walked to the park together, or snuck away to the sweet shoppe on Butterfield Street to buy the toffees that they weren't allowed to have at home. But it had. Looking at her sister with sad eyes, she had a sudden thought,

"Hey Tunie- do you want to go to Guthrie's Cafe with me? I wanted to have a walk downtown on my last morning," Petunia raised an eyebrow and Lily said quickly, "You don't have to eat! You could just... have a coffee..." She trailed away as Petunia's eyebrow rose even higher..

"Do I look like a bleeding hippie?" She scoffed, and looked back at her magazine, "Milly's coming over to help me get ready for Vernon. I can't."

"Okay." Lily refused to look put out. She shrugged and got up, kissing her mother on the cheek, "I won't be long. Back for lunch."

Only when she had grabbed her bag and walked out the door did she let herself feel just a little put out. And only for a minute. She and Petunia were different, that was all. She had always thought that they might outgrow the barrier between them and be close again as they got older, but perhaps that time had simply not come yet. After all, she was in school for another year. Perhaps once she had finished her schooling at Hogwarts, which Petunia seemed to resent more than anything else, her sister would feel more accepting of her.

Lily let a smile spread across her face as she thought of that. _One more year._ She felt a little thrill of excitement. One more year of school, and she would be set free in the world of _magic _to do whatever she chose. Besides the stress of N.E.W.T.s, she was looking forward to the next year immensely. This summer had wrought a subtle change in her. She felt... liberated from something she hadn't realized was holding her captive. She felt a new sense of ease in herself; free and open, where before she had always felt a little defensive and quick to be on guard.

This newfound ease displayed itself marvelously at that very moment, as a good looking muggle boy around her age smiled appreciatively at her as he passed. Where she once would have rolled her eyes or tossed her mane of hair in an aloof sort of way, she found herself looking right back at him, and returning the smile readily.

She felt flushed with pleasure as she continued down the street, more excited than she cared to admit to feel this newfound freedom at Hogwarts. More than that, she ached to laugh and chat with her friends. She craved the bread pudding that the house elves so expertly made, and she was absolutely _itching_ to learn the advanced magic that 7th year lessons promised. She suddenly felt buoyant as she made her way down the quaint street to her favorite cafe. As much as she was _leaving_ home, she was also _going_ home.

The door of Guthrie's had a little old fashioned bell on the handle, that announced her entrance in a tinkling way that she had always loved. She took a seat by the window, and ordered an apple pastry and a cup of tea. She spent a lovely hour trying her best to soak up all the muggle activity she could like a sponge. She wanted to remember the feel of the people around her, who had thought and invented their way around every obstacle in life that could be solved with a simple wave of her wand. She wanted to remember the sound of machines working all around her, helping them all get by. She took in the furniture inside the shop, and the fountain and garden in the square visible from her window, all painstakingly set into place by bare hands. Her eyes fell onto a picnic bench next to the fountain, and her good mood quelled a little.

Her and Severus had spent countless hours sitting at that very bench, pouring obsessively over schoolbooks that they had charmed to look like muggle textbooks if anyone were to look over their shoulder. They had read and discussed almost every book cover to cover before the start of each year, and not because they _had_ to, simply because they couldn't wait to learn more of the awe inspiring magic that was not present enough in their summer lives. That was something they had in common, that zest for learning that stemmed from not being able to learn at home. _Actually_, she thought wistfully, _that might be the only thing we had in common after all._

She hadn't seen much of Severus this summer. Partially because she hadn't really wanted to, but mostly because he seemed so busy with his Slytherin friends- which made her want to see him even less. It made her stomach churn to think of Severus, once her best and only true friend, holed up somewhere with Avery and Mulciber, studying the dark arts with the same fervor they had once shared pouring over 'Magical Drafts and Potions'. He had showed up at her house only twice, in a skulking sort of way, and she had asked him to leave without allowing time for very much conversation.

She had_ tried_ talking to him, tried to make him see the darkness of the road he was going down, and could only conclude that he knew full well where it led and was charging ahead anyways. Of course he did. He was the smartest person she knew. Only now she must start realizing that he wasn't the boy she thought she knew at all.

The door to Guthrie's tinkled again, and she looked absentmindedly over. She choked on her tea. As if summoned by her thoughts, Severus Snape stood in the doorway. He was wearing that desperately pained expression that made her stomach churn, and she looked away immediately, trying to think of what to do.

"Lily."

She stared resolutely out the window, dearly hoping that she wasn't about to loose her temper and cause a scene. The chair opposite her scraped on the tiled floor as he pulled it out and took a seat.

"Lil," his voice was full of that pleading, and she felt like she could actually be sick. She was dizzy with the shock of his appearance. "Lil, I need you to know that I had nothing to do with what happened yesterday."

Her eyes widened with disbelief, and she covered her mouth to muffle a cynical gail of laughter.

"_Sev._" She shook her head with disgust, looking into his black eyes, "the fact that you have to _seek me out_, just to tell me that you weren't a part of the triple _homicide_ yesterday, says it all. I don't want to see you."

He looked impatient, waving away her words with a long-fingered hand,

"There is a war brewing- ugly things will happen on _both sides_. I just want you to know I would _never_- targeting muggles… and muggleborns. It's not- it's not what it's about for me-"

"_Not what it's ABOUT_?!" Lily tried her best to keep the shout rising up her throat to a hiss, "That is _all_ that it's about Severus- Putting Muggles and Muggleborns _in their rightful place_. You _know_ that full well, and you have made your choice, so don't you _dare_," she tapped her foot wildly on the ground, trying to drive away the tears that were springing to her eyes, "try and ask me to _understand_ what else it could possibly mean to you."

Their eyes locked, and their was fury and hurt on both sides. He opened his mouth to keep arguing, but she was done.

"- Get. Out."

She heard the ferocity in her own voice, and Severus' shoulders slumped a little. He knew her well enough. Fishing through his pockets, he took out a five pound note and left it on the table, like he always used to when they came to Guthrie's. It would break her heart every time, knowing that of all people, Severus couldn't afford to be displaying such chivalry. She would always protest, and half the time he would give in- but only, she knew, because of how desperately he really needed the simple change. She felt the familiar sad pang, and looked furiously out the window, unable to say anything at all. The door tinkled again, and she watched out of the corner of her eye as he wandered down the street and disappeared as a car drove by.

Feeling a little shaken, she downed the rest of her tea, and pulled out a five pound note of her own. Let Severus' be a tip for the sweet _muggle_ waitress.

She walked resolutely out onto the street and strolled down it until her mind was clear. She forced herself to walk to her and Severus' bench and sit down, claiming it as her _own_ special spot now. Feeling stronger, she set off down the lane of shops, to browse the windows and perhaps buy something nice to take to Hogwarts.

By the time lunchtime rolled around, she was back to feeling excited and jubilant about returning to school the next day, and returned to her parent's house with a little parcel and a loaf of fresh bread for lunch. She passed the day happily with her parents (Petunia had already been picked up by Vernon), and before she knew it, darkness had fallen and her mum and dad were helping her pack up the last of her things for school. This was something they always did, Lily thought fondly, because they loved the chance to inspect Lily's strange books and potions ingredients and hear the stories that went with them. All too soon they had all said goodnight, and she was climbing into her bed for the last time that summer.

The next morning her ancient alarm clock woke her with a jarring ring at what felt like the crack of dawn. She dragged herself out of bed and freshened up as best she could, using the beauty spell that Rachel Bones had shown her, just to spite Petunia. However she also unwrapped the parcel that she had bought the day before, carefully taking out the two sets of earrings within. They were long and made of beautiful bold stones that shimmered and glittered in the light, one pair green and the other blue. Lily put on the green ones, and then carefully wrapped the blue pair in a piece of tissue paper, leaving them just outside her sleeping sister's door, with a little note of truce and love attached.

She met her parents in the sleepy kitchen, and after a cup of tea, they all hauled her trunk, extra bag of books, and the cage containing her owl, Humphrey, out to the car. Lily looked back at the house in the still dawn light as they drove away. She said a little goodbye to it in her head, and tried to memorize how it looked in that last peaceful moment.

As Britain sped along outside the car windows, Lily found that her sadness ebbed slowly, to be replaced by excitement. They arrived at Kings Cross an hour before the Hogwarts Express was due to leave, and Lily's father suggested they have a last cup of tea together.

Fifteen minutes later, they were seated in a little cafe that looked out over the platform, and Lily was reassuring her mother that she had absolutely everything she needed, while her dad looked out the window trying to spot other teenagers with owls.

"Is that one?" He asked abruptly, pointing to a girl walking casually in the direction of Platform 9, holding a small cage containing a black cat. Lily chuckled,

"Yes, Dad, she's a witch. Her name is Joyce and she's a year below me, but in Hufflepuff." Her father nodded with interest, smiling as Joyce disappeared between platforms 9 and 10 as a luggage cart drove by. Returning to her conversation, she clasped her mother's hands in her own, "I'm an adult by Wizard standards, Mum. I'll be _fine_."

"What about them?" Her father was craning his neck and pointing at two dark haired boys, who were accompanied by an elderly couple, and a caged owl. Slightly annoyed, Lily glanced over. Her annoyance grew.

"Mmm. Yeah. That's James Potter." Her mum turned interestedly to look.

"The one that likes you? Which one is he then- the one with the dark jacket?... Oh, _Lily, _he's very good looking, isn't he?" Lily's annoyance peaked at her mother's excitement.

"No, that's Sirius Black," she grumbled. "James has the glasses."

Her mother surveyed James with an approving smile,

"_Mum_, I've _told _you, he's a prat. He's an arrogant, egotistical bully, and I'm not interested." Her mother nodded respectfully, but the smile stayed in place. Lily realized her mug of tea had gone lukewarm.

"It's probably time," her father intoned, following her train of thought. They paid and gathered Lily's things in a slightly sad silence, and struggled out of the Cafe and over to the platform. After a misty eyed goodbye to her mother, and a hug from her father that felt like a rugby tackle, Lily straightened her back and walked towards the platform. She glanced over her shoulder for one more bright look at her parents, and for one last wave. With a deep breath, she leaned her trolley against the platform between 9 and 10, and her sweet muggle world disappeared.

She heard a loud '_whooosh_', and was enveloped in the steamy mist of Platform 9 and ¾ for a moment, before her senses were assaulted by chaos. Pets of all kinds were everywhere, young students were dashing to and fro, and a merry din of greetings and laughter was ringing in the air. Lily stopped for a brief moment, looking for anybody she knew in the crowd, and then decided she was better off making her way towards the train.

She dithered for a few minutes, as several students she didn't know terribly well, but was friendly with, greeted her excitedly. She found she was quite overwhelmed as usual at the sudden onslaught of magical peoples, pets, and activity after three months of naught. Flustered, she found herself making a rather odd joke about Grindylows, and decided it was time to politely excuse herself from the group. Shaking her head as she walked on, she tried to regain the enigmatic composure she had imagined she would have when she kicked off her 7th year at Hogwarts, and continued to scan the crowd.

Her eyes landed on Severus, standing twenty feet away with Avery. She felt a simultaneous wave of cold sickness, and a hot flush of anger to see them together, heads bent and talking fervently as she had imagined them doing all summer. As if Severus could sense her, he suddenly looked up and right into her eyes. His face fell into a desperate expression, and without thinking Lily quickly whirled her cart around to avoid having to speak to him again. There was a massive _SMASH, _the ear-splitting shrieks of two owls, and a cry of, 'OY!'

"Oh- I'm _so sorry_, Brandon!" Lily gasped at a cursing Brandon Davies, who had been knocked to the ground by the force of the ricocheting carts. He saw that it was her, and his face became ever so slightly less angry, and ever so slightly amused.

"Hi, Lily," he got up, brushing his trousers off, and managed to quirk an eyebrow good natured-ly at her. "How're you doing?"

"Rather like a stampeding bicorn. How was your summer?" She asked distractedly, rushing to pick up his owl cage, which had been knocked from his cart, and brusquely patting a bit of dirt from his sleeve. He shrugged, and told her something or other about Quidditch as they disentangled their carts. She managed to escape only a minute later, with no particularly hard feelings or damaged things.

Continuing on her path away from Severus, Lily tried to shake off the series of bothersome events that had just taken place. She brushed her hair away from her face, and tried her best to look dignified, and not quite so much like a confused fish flopping about on dry land. A crowd of third years parted, and she realized she was headed directly towards James Potter and Sirius Black, who were whispering to each other and pointing surreptitiously at the smokestack of the Hogwarts Express. _Planning something ridiculous no doubt, _thought Lily with a roll of her eyes. Nevertheless, she continued towards them. When James saw her he would no doubt greet her with something ludicrous, like the highly dramatic marriage proposal he had belted out at her when she had entered the Great Hall one day at the end of last term, for just one example. She smiled slightly, feeling that as obnoxious as their encounters were, it would at least make her feel a little more normal to be able to tell him to stuff it.

As she approached them, James did indeed look up. But it was no more than a mere glance, with the slightest nod of hello, and he turned back to Sirius to whisper something about the train's steam that made Sirius let out a bark of a laugh. She stopped, staring at James. But he didn't notice or look back at her. Sirius did, however, and although his eyes froze on her for a second, he simply smiled a very stiff half-smile, and returned his attention to James.

Lily was flabbergasted. Not a single _day_ had gone by in seven years that James had not leapt at the opportunity to embarrass her with attention, or simply say an eager hello. Nevermind the first days back to school, on which he usually made the most monumental efforts to cause a scene on her behalf. Even Sirius was usually up for a good flirt, he was _Sirius Black_ for Christ's sake. What in God's name was going on this morning?

Feeling indignant and ashamed of herself for thinking so brattily, she turned around and quickly made her way to the nearest door to the Express, eager to just be safe on board. Haven came only a minute after she had lugged her things aboard (with the help of three fifth year boys who had scrambled to her aid) in the form of her best friend Marlene McKinnon.

"Lily! _There_ you are!" Marlene flew at Lily, and squeezed her in a delighted hug, "my god, you look _beautiful_!" She exclaimed in her usual warm way, touching Lily's earrings appreciatively and smiling at her. She took Lily's hand as well as her bag of books, and pulled her towards a compartment. "Emmeline and I came together, and we got here ages early. We've saved a nice compartment for the girls."

And sure enough, when the door slid open, it revealed the most welcome sight of Lily's four Gryffindor roommates. She exclaimed with relief and delight, and the compartment was filled with the giddiness of reunited girlfriends for a good ten minutes. Not long after that, the train started to shift and belch and come to life, and soon they were sitting back, chatting comfortably, as the English countryside raced past their windows.

Lily felt extremely content, and had quite forgotten the rocky ten minute start she had gotten off to on Platform 9 and ¾, when the door slid suddenly open. The five girls in the compartment turned as one to see who had intruded on their merriment.

It was Sirius Black, who stepped into the compartment with entitlement without even looking to see who was occupying it. When he looked around and realized that he was in a room full of girls, a slight smile quirked on his lips.

"Ladies," he nodded in that unconcerned way of his that always held a hint of amusement. "Don't mind me."

As he strode across the compartment to the window, Lily could feel a rustle go around the tiny room as Sara Bell nudged Mary Macdonald, and they waggled their eyebrows at each other. Emmeline smirked and said in a voice that matched the tone of his,

"Sirius."

Lily wanted to roll her eyes. That _rustle_ of whispers and looks rippled through groups of girls literally everywhere Sirius went. It was extreme to the point of being comical. He was quite as bad as James, and she felt that he definitely did not need the extra ego boost following him around absolutely everywhere.

Don Juan was at present, inspecting the sealed window of the train with his back to them, muttering in a low voice. Lily got up to see what he was doing. He faltered ever so slightly as she approached, but kept muttering, tapping his wand deftly on the window.

"Er... Sirius?" He seemed to smile in spite of himself.

"Lily?"

"Can I ask what you're doing?" He spared her the quickest of looks and obliging smiles.

"Sure you can."

And he went right back to his inspection of the window seal. Lily let the silence continue for a few beats past the point where it became clear that he wasn't going to speak any more.

"Right. What are you doing, Sirius?"

At last he looked at her properly, his hair falling into his eyes, which were twinkling at the sport of teasing her.

"Well I can't _tell_ you," he smirked, "it wouldn't be suitable for the ears of the _Head Girl_."

She felt her face turn ever so slightly pink- she had just _known_ he and James would ridicule her for the badge that she wasn't quite sure she felt suited for... She was about to reply hotly, when with impressive skill, Sirius was at last able to break the spell on the windows that kept them magically sealed, and the glass slid open. He grinned, and shouted over his shoulder,

"Got it, Prongs! In the second compartment," he caught sight of Lily's face, still full of temper, and his grin grew even wider. He bowed his head to the girls, "Ladies."

And before they could speak or move in reply, he had reached up out of the window, and hoisted himself _out of the train_. Out of the train that was _moving_ at 80 kilometers an hour. The girls in the compartment, Lily included, shrieked and exclaimed (actually, she cursed rather loudly), and amid the chaos, James strode into the cramped quarters.

"Excellent," he said approvingly, rolling up his sleeves and asking Emmeline, who was straining to see the top of the train out of the window, "is he up?"

"Wh- is he- what the _bloody hell_ are you two doing?!" Lily spluttered at the back of James' head. He turned to look at her, and his face was completely empty of the usual boyish eagerness that always lit him up when he looked at her. He made a calming gesture with one hand, and said with indifference,

"Relax, he's fine. Just give him a minute."

And he leaned against the wall next to the window, smiling reassuringly at the rest of the girls.

Lily was left to wrestle with the cascading confusion of emotions roaring inside of her. Whatever other feelings were lurking beneath the surface, fury was masking them rapidly. She felt wildly irrational. She was furious with Sirius Black, whom she hardly knew past his reputation, the occasional teasing conversation, and the quite_ frequent_ display of reckless stunts, such as jumping out of a ruddy _train window_ or luring Severus into a near death trap. And she was livid with James... for no reason at all. Other than the way he was standing broadly against the wall three feet away giving no sign that he had ever so much as spoken to her before.

Just as James promised, after no more than a minute or two, Sirius swung agiley back in through the window, looking windswept where anybody else would have looked absolutely bedraggled, noted Lily's fury. He was breathing heavily, and his eyes were shining with a wild exhilaration that did not look altogether healthy. He nodded at James, who thumped him on the back, and the pair made to stride out of the compartment, exuding pride.

"Wait a moment," Lily started to exclaim. She grabbed Sirius' arm to stop them, and felt all of the muscles in it stiffen as he froze. He shot her a glare of such intensity that her heart jumped, but she stood her ground. She felt like she should at least do _something_ to honor the Head Girl position that Dumbledore had given her, but before she could open her mouth Sirius managed to quell the ferocity radiating off of him and said softly,

"We're not quite as thick as you think we are, you know. I used an adherent charm on myself. You'll like this one." He nodded respectfully at the girls, and he and James left.

Lily and her girlfriends looked at each other in disbelief for a long moment. Then Marlene snorted and started chuckling, and they all burst out laughing. Lily flopped back down in her seat, and spread her hair out behind her, putting her feet up on the seat next to Sara.

"_Well._ Welcome back to Hogwarts, _Ladies,_" she said in an apt impression of Sirius. Her irrational mood taking yet another swing, she found she couldn't help a sudden smile at the thought of the pair of them, "You know? I never thought I would say this genuinely, but I think I will actually miss those two after we leave school."

The girls made sounds and smiles of agreement and Emmeline said something slightly vulgar about exactly which part of Sirius _she_ would miss. Marlene however was frowning, gazing at Lily,

"That was a bit weird though, wasn't it?" She said thoughtfully.

"Well not really. If you think back over the years, leaping out the window of a speeding train hardly makes the top of the list," Lily closed her eyes and stretched back comfortably.

"Not Sirius, _James_. He hardly noticed you were in here," Lily kept her eyes closed, knowing Marlene would be able to see that it was bothering her if she met her friend's eyes. And she would be damned if she let the loss of attentions she had hoped for _years_ would stop, actually bother her. She made a thoughtful noise of her own, as if she was only noticing James' indifference towards her in retrospect.

"Hmmm... Perhaps I'm free at last- after a mere six years of torture." She raised her arms like wings.

"Yeah. Maybe he's found a girlfriend."

Lily's eyes snapped open in spite of herself. She sat up,

"Do you think?"

Marlene shrugged, "I dunno... I know Celia Diggory was going to make it her summer's mission to 'accidentally' run into him in Wimbourne. Maybe he's just finally given up on you." She looked at Lily carefully. Lily shrugged.

"Well whatever Sirius says, I think you've got to be just a little thick to not pick up a hint for six years." She rifled through a collection of sweets on the seat next to her, extracting a Chocolate Frog.

"Actually, I think that's pretty admirable," Marlene said slowly. Lily stared at her, "I do," she insisted with wide eyes, "As ridiculous as he is sometimes, you have to admire persistence like that."

"I suppose," Lily shrugged. She was surprised at how genuinely conflicted she felt about the matter. She frowned a little. Was she this much of a brat? She had been irritated and embarrassed by James Potter for _years_, was she really going to feel pouty just because she wouldn't be receiving his overwhelming attentions anymore? No. She would definitely not let herself be put out by something so trivial as the loss of her regular ego-stroking. Potter's persistence would be much better spent on someone else, and good on him for finding someone who would take him seriously. She nodded to herself to sum up her train of thoughts, and managed to smile at Marlene, "Good for him then."

The subject of boys and dating lingered in the compartment as the rest of the girls began to share tidbits of gossip or news of new crushes. Try as she might, Lily found her mind wandering for a good part of the next few _hours_, as the cozy sound of her best friends' happy voices filled the room.

As pink evening light began to creep in through the windows, she unwrapped her Chocolate Frog and turned the card over. Salazar Slytherin. Her chest felt hollow as she stared down at the wild eyed man in her hand. She could tell just by looking at the ancient portrait that he was a powerful wizard. His face and wide eyes showed an austerity on the brink of... insanity.

An overwhelming wave of sadness swept over her out of nowhere as she realized that this little man in her right hand was one of the first crusaders against people like _her_. His mistrust and dislike of muggle-borns had lead to the rift between the four founders of Hogwarts, and had left behind a house that would attract and churn out so many more like him for centuries to come. But why? Her heart filled with hurt and anger as it always did when she thought about the world of Wizards that she respected and loved so much, and how much some of _them_ so passionately hated muggles, like her own sweet family.

Her mind wandered rebelliously to the headline of the Prophet on Saturday morning, to those three courageous men who had been killed for standing up for muggle rights. She thought of how proud their children must have been of the good their fathers were doing... and how it must have felt to see the dark mark looming over their house. An icy feeling filled her chest at that thought, and she fiercely mustered her strength against her fright and the lump in her throat. She would not fall into the trap of fear that Voldemort was trying to spook them all into.

She started a little as she realized Marlene was speaking to her.

"Sorry?" She asked, a little bashfully. She had completely lost herself in her thoughts.

"It's time to put our robes on," Marlene repeated, looking a little concerned. Lily nodded, and made a spastic little gesture indicating her own air headedness, which made Marlene look less concerned.

The girls briefly locked the door of the compartment, lest Sirius Black 'stumble in' again, and changed into their school robes. The sky outside was full of magnificent pinks and reds, luminous against the emerald green hillsides of what Lily assumed was Scotland. She knew that they had nearly arrived, and she felt a ridiculous frenzied anxiety leap into her stomach. Her last journey to Hogwarts on the Express! And she had spent it fretting over _James Potter_ and the state of the Wizarding World outside the safety of school. She felt a longing to turn back time and start the journey again, to force herself to be carefree and giddy as she usually was, but the train was already slowing.

The uncharacteristic heaviness in Lily's heart followed her out of the train, unruffled by the struggle with her many belongings, and onto the platform where she stood with Marlene. They waited for the rest of the girls to join them, standing in silence in the slowly growing sea of students gathering to wait for the carriages. A massive shape caught Lily's eye, and her heart lit up a little,

"Hello, Hagrid!" She beamed and waved at the largest and _kindest_ man she knew, Rubeus Hagrid, gamekeeper of Hogwarts. Fairly young, and extremely energetic, his wild dark hair and beard tangled around shining eyes as he waved at many of the students who were greeting him. He was crunching his way towards them up a rocky path, and when he was within ten feet he called out,

"I've a message from Dumbledore for you two," he said, looking from Lily to someone standing behind her, "He wants to meet with the Head Boy and Girl righ' after dinner. Says to go on up to his office soon as the students are dismissed for bed."

Lily looked over her shoulder and saw James, Sirius, Remus and Peter standing a few feet behind her. She grinned at Remus. As they had not been asked to join the Prefects for orientation on the train, and since her mind had been so wrapped up in chaos since she arrived on Platform 9 and ¾- she had not even thought to confirm who the Head Boy was! Not that she had _really_ needed to; she had known that it would be Remus... although there was a tiny part of her that had feared rather than expected, that Rye Santini- a nasty Slytherin Prefect- might get the badge.

She turned back to Hagrid and saw his lips twitching. Dropping his slightly formal manner, he leaned in and growled,

"Con_gratulations_, Lily," he beamed at her, "James," he beamed behind her. "_Two_ Gryffindor Heads. Hogwarts needed that this year, I reckon." And he straightened and walked away into the quickly falling dusk, holding his massive lantern high and calling out,

"Firs' years! First years over 'ere!" Lily smiled, letting that familiar phrase ring and settle into her memory for good. But then Hagrid's previous words sunk in, and her head snapped around to look at James.

"Hold on-" She spluttered, "- What?!" Her eyes traveled down James' sleek black robes where she noticed two things. First, he seemed to have become something of a young man over the summer, and the robes that were usually billowy on all of the boys at school, now clung across a chest and shoulders that were surprisingly broad. However, that thought was momentary and was immediately eclipsed by the unmistakable gleam of the Head Boy badge pinned under his right shoulder.

She stared for a few moments with her mouth agape. But then realization dawned on her and, feeling foolish, she smiled at them,

"Oh very clever. Congratulations, Remus. Only," she frowned at the stolen badge on James' chest, "how did you let Hagrid know to be in on the joke? You only just stepped off the train."

Next to her Marlene groaned a little, taking her arm. Peter let out a burst of something like a giggle, and Remus smiled uncomfortably. Lily looked around in confusion, unsure of what she was missing.

"No Lily, it's really not me. It's James," said Remus in his usual gentle voice. His warm brown eyes were honest as always, and she knew he never lied outright for James and Sirius. Confusion and shock walloped her for a second time, and her neck flushed as she realized how rude she had just been. Her eyes flew to James' hazel ones.

"Oh, I-" she began, trying to push away her confusion and disbelief to congratulate him genuinely. But he cut her off, his face blank and stony.

"No need to flatter me anymore, Evans." He brushed past her cooly. Sirius sauntered behind him like a faithful dog, asking him something in a low voice, and Remus and Peter shrugged and followed.

"_Lily_," Marlene chided in a soft voice after the boys were out of earshot, "that was so rude."

"I know," Lily grimaced and covered her eyes with a hand, "I know, I just- I mean, he wasn't even a Prefect! I just didn't expect... It seemed like the sort of joke they would pull, didn't it?"

She looked at her best friend with guilt, hoping to be told that her rudeness was at least a little excusable.

"I think," Marlene said, looking at her intently, "that you always want to assume the worst of James Potter."

Lily felt weary as they lugged their things towards the carriages. She had so looked forward to coming back this year, fresh and newly free with that wild aliveness she had felt all summer. But instead she has spent the entire day blundering about and fretting like she was a first year again. Where was her courage, the spark she always had inside her to burn away her worries?

A sudden outbreak of screams ruptured the dusk air. Lily, along with everyone else whirled around to look in the direction of the sound, and gasped. The train was belching, and high above it, in thick black and green smoke, the dark mark was writhing grotesquely.

Her mind and body whirled, as her thoughts tried to rationally figure out how it could _possibly_ be here, within the protection of Hogwarts. Her wand hand flew to the ready. But before she could begin to think of an explanation, the scarlet steam engine chugged and puffed, and an enormous smokey eagle soared out of the smokestack. The brakes made a piercing cry, just like that of a bird, and the massive winged creature dove at the dark mark, tearing at it with smoky beak and talons.

Lily's body flooded with relief, and she watched in amazement as the train made a lumbering thudding noise, and a massive yellow and black smoke badger burst from the smokestack as well. It bounded through the air, and tackled the dark mark, making the shadowy skull sway and wobble. Eagle and Badger together tore at the mark, shredding away wisps of smoke that vanished in showers of white sparks. The train gave an almighty rumble, and then the lion came.

Lily gasped again, as did many others, but this time the onlooker's voices were filled with awe instead of fear. She was absolutely transfixed. Powerful emotion was rising up inside of her. The lion was massive. It burst from the scarlet chimney and charged through the air towards the mark. The train heaved another roaring rumble, and the mighty gold cat snatched the snake up in enormous jaws, shaking and severing it, until the skull and snake were completely disfigured- _defeated_. The smoke eagle, badger and lion stilled as the remnants of the mark began to burn brighter and brighter in the sky. The train heaved one last earsplitting sound, and the entire scene burst into an explosion of colorful sparks that lit the whole platform like the sun.

They burned in the sky like a firework, lingering for a long time. The red and gold sparks were the last to disappear. The night was completely quiet. Lily realized that she had tears in her eyes. As one spilled down her cheek, the astonished students around her broke into applause.

She turned her head, searching the crowd until she found them. They weren't applauding, but they were also making no move to draw attention to themselves or claim the stunning work as their own. Sirius was looking around at the faces of the onlookers and caught her eye for a moment. He nodded almost imperceptibly at her, and then looked away. James' eyes flickered over hers too, but he gave her no acknowledgement beyond a look.

Very slowly, the crowd of students began to talk again, and make their way dazedly towards the carriages. Lily breathed deeply, feeling everything around her with great intensity. The sparks in the sky were still in her mind's eye. She smiled.

She could feel her own spark coming back.


End file.
